Party Crashers
by Twizzle-fizz
Summary: The Chaotix team are bored until they find an invite to a party, but upon arrival they discover that apparantly they weren't invited,so Vector devises some "genius" plans to get inside, but just what kind of party are they breaking into? My First story:
1. I'm sooooooooo bored!

**A/N: Hi everyone! This is Twizzle-Fizz with my first ever fanfic –Whoohoo! ****It's set on Earth during the sonic X saga but don't worry I only put it there because it would work well with the rest of my story and there is no mention of Chris! Thank the Lord. **

**I don't own any characters in this story (except for Ethel but who cares about her)Sega owns them**

Chapter 1: "I'm soooooooo BORED!"

It was a quiet morning at the Chaotix detective agency; you would almost go so far as to say it was too quiet, but you wouldn't because something bad always happens when someone says that. Oops, too late!...

"Vector! Espio! Help me!"

"What is it Charmy?" Vector smashed through the door wearing a top hat and moustache, and splinters of wood went flying across the room.

"Erm, you could have just opened the door," said Charmy, "it wasn't locked... in fact, it wasn't even closed."

"Well where's the fun in that?" Vector asked whilst twiddling his brilliant moustache, "And besides you were in trouble, the door was half closed, and how else was I supposed to get through it?"

"Well, you could have just turned the handle..."

"Charmy, what happened!" Espio burst through the already destroyed door wearing a frilly pink apron and a curly blonde wig. "What happened to you! ...What happened to the door?"

"Yeah... what _did_ happen to the door?..." Vector said suspiciously.

"Was it bandits? Pirates?" Espio looked around for the culprit.

"That oversized, blue cat trying to find his slimy, green pet?" Vector added.

"Oh no, not again!" Espio panicked, "Quick everyone, seal all ways of entry! Protect the women and children! Hide anything that's breakable!"

"Eep! We're breakable!" Vector shrieked.

"Never mind Charmy! Just run for your lives!" Espio announced

"And from his giant backside!" Added Vector, and with that they started running around the room like a gorilla being attacked by a giant, hairy banana.

"Big's not here," sighed Charmy, sounding strangely disappointed by this fact, "Vector broke the door, and there are no women in here... "He looked at Espio and Vector running around and screaming like girls, "Let me rephrase that, there were no women in here."

"Wait a second," Espio suddenly stopped, "Vector broke the door?"

"I did no such thing!" Vector said sounding offended whilst Espio glared at him.

"That's the second door this morning and the fifth door this week!" He said whilst throwing off his wig.

"Well then Charmy," Questioned Vector while adjusting his top hat, "If big isn't here... then what's the problem?"

"I'm soooooooo BORED!"Charmy winged. Vector and Espio both fell over.

"You interrupted our 'Ultimate disguise session' to tell us that!" Vector shouted angrily whilst shaking Charmy back and forth by the collar.

"I was wondering why you were dressed like that." Charmy said while being shaken about.

"Not to worry Charmy, your disruption was most appreciated." Espio bowed and proceeded to throw off the pink apron in disgust that Vector had forcibly made him wear.

"Tut, tut, tut Espio," Vector put on a posh voice and waggled his finger in front of Espio's face. "So the cool, calm and collected ninja wannabe is losing his temper?" He then gently stroked his moustache.

"Anyone would lose their temper if they were forced to wear... _it_" Espio growled and pointed to 'it' which was now lying amongst the splinters of wood on the floor. "And... WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!"

"Hey what you just referred to as 'it' is one of the best disguises in the business!" Vector said all matter-of-factly.

"Then, why don't YOU wear it!" Espio yelled, which was an unusual thing for Espio to do.

"Because it looks better on purple, ninja wanna..." Vector started.

"Oh, you do not want to finish that sentence, or it will be see you later alligator." Espio threatened and ripped of vectors fake moustache which caused him to slightly whimper.

"Don't forget the toilet paper!" Charmy chimed in.

"Alligator? I'm a CROCODILE!" Vector yelled so loudly that it shook the whole detective agency.

"Whoa guys, just calm down!" said Charmy, "I think we're all just bored". Espio had pulled out a ninja star and was about to throw it, and Vector about to throw his top hat.

"Hmm... for once I agree with the bee," stated Espio who had calmed down quickly, "Maybe we are just bored."

"Yeah, that would explain Espio's little temper tantrums." Vector smirked.

"Says the one who has smashed through every door in the detective agency" Espio calmly replied.

"Hey! That wasn't my fault, they just kind of got in my way, well anyway I reckon the reason why we're bored is because we've got nothing better to do."

"Way to go genius" Charmy stated sarcastically.

"Well can you guys remember the last time we got given a mission?" Espio opened his mouth to reply, "Exactly Espio, it has been fifteen days, two hours and twenty-five minutes since we helped _Vanilla..._" Vector's eyes became the size of dinner plates as he remembered when they 'helped' to reunite the rabbit family. Espio sighed and then clicked his fingers. Vector shook his head from side to side and then said, "Exactly Espio, it was a momentous day, when Team Chaotix achieved an outstanding victory!" Vector struck a heroic pose.

"Ugh, don't remind me!" said Charmy, "You made us _celebrate_ by eating vanilla cakes, vanilla ice-creams, vanilla chocolates and vanilla biscuits for A WEEK! Ew, I don't mind the bland flavour every once in a while, but when it gets to vanilla pies, it's just getting disgusting! Which reminds me, I'm going to eat a chocolate bar" and he flew away into the kitchen.

"What? Vanilla's not bland! She's... I mean it's the sweetest flavour! And it's never disgusting!" Vector said defensively.

"Vector, I'm sorry to interrupt your reminiscing about the 'Glory days' but when you were talking about our boredom, where you just stating the obvious, or had you devised a cure?" Espio tapped his foot impatiently which was another unusual thing for him to do since he was never impatient.

"Erm..." Said Vector.

"Hey guys, look what we got!" Charmy flew in with a chocolate bar in one hand and a letter held in the other sticky chocolate coated hand.

"We got a letter?" Espio asked whilst looking at it like it was a piece of foreign matter from the far reaches of Vector's belly-button.

"It's about some kind of party!" Charmy yelled with glee.

"Really?" asked Vector, "we've been invited to a party? What else does it say?"

"Erm..." Charmy tried to make out any other words besides 'party' that hadn't already been chocolate-fingerprint coated.

"Gimme that!" Vector said as he snatched it out of the hyperactive bee's hand, "Arghh! You got chocolate all over it! Espio we'll need your decoding abilities over here!" Espio took the letter from Vector while looking at him as if he were a child, and then tried to make out the chocolate coated words.

"You're invited...party...4pm Saturday...Mable's place...34 Butterbelly road." Espio repeated the words he could read without closing one eye and twisting his head sideways.

"Then what are we waiting for!" Vector gleefully exclaimed, "We're going to a party tomorrow and so ends our boredom!"

"Yay! A party" Charmy buzzed around the room.

"But Vector, this letter isn't even addressed to us, it's for someone called... Ethel?" Espio pointed out, "It must be a mistake, we should find the person this belongs to and return their invitation."

"What are you saying Espio? That we're not cool enough to get invited to the party of the century!" Vector announced, "Of course we're cool enough! And you know what I bet they just got the invites mixed around, Ethel probably got ours. So we are going to this party tomorrow!"

Espio sighed, "If you say so, but I have a bad feeling about this"

"Yay! It's party time!" Said Charmy, "and as long as it's not a vanilla party then I'm there!"

**A/N: So what did you think? If you liked it please tell me and if you didn't plz tell me how I can improve. Reviews will be greatly appreciated!**


	2. Party time?

**A/N: Hi again! (Wow I actually feel like I'm talking to someone this time! :D) Thanks soooooo much to Yami-sama42 and Crispy Pink for being my first reviewers ever! I've been reading fanfictions and reviewing them as an anonymous person for some time now and now I'm over the moon to have some reviews of my own! I was literally jumping around the house when I read your comments, they really made my night. Thanks :D**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to sega except the snobby butler guy (but they can have him if they want:)**

Chapter 2: Party Time?

It was a pretty normal afternoon down in station square... well except for the fact that there was some kind of crocodile thing with headphones, a ninja chameleon and a really annoying bee wearing a helmet walking down the crowded streets. It comes to no surprise then that this spectacle was attracting a lot of attention in the form of stares, gasps and the occasional crying baby.

"Party! Party! Party! Party! Party! Party!" Charmy sang in his usual annoying way. Espio was using all his powers of concentration to stay completely calm, but Vector on the other hand was getting quite irritated of spending the past hour listening to someone say no other word but 'party'.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAA!" a baby screamed at the sight of Vector giving him a toothy grin and the mother started speed walking away so fast that Vector could have sworn she rivalled Sonic's speed.

"Ahh! My ears!" said Vector

"Ow my foot!" said Espio as the mother speed her pram right over the top of his shoe.

"Party! PARTY!" yelled Charmy trying to make his voice heard over the baby's screams.

"Geez they ought to have speed limits on these footpaths" said Vector, "The amount of women who are taking up pram racing these days!"

"That's the twenty-eighth time today," replied a fed up Espio, "I say we just give up and go home, we're obviously lost because _somebody_ couldn't read a simple road map."

"No way!" shouted Vector (he had a habit of making a scene in public places), "We are going to this party! And besides anyone would have more sense of direction then that darn map!"

"Whoo-Hoo PARTY!" yelled Charmy.

"Anyway, I can't help it if Charmy's ugly mug keeps scaring all the women and children" continued Vector obviously getting more annoyed.

"Hey!" Charmy stopped his party mode for a second to think about Vectors insult, "...PARTY! PARTY!" obviously he didn't think for long enough.

Espio sighed, "This party better be worth it."

"Pa-a-artyyyy Yeah!"

"All right, THAT'S IT! I draw the line at SINGING!" Vector yelled suddenly losing it, making everyone on the street draw their attention to them. If Vector had hair he would have surely ripped it out.

"Paar-" Vector glared at Charmy with a menacing look, "-ty? Well excuse me for living! There's no need to get snappy! I'm just excited 'bout the party!"

"We KNOW" Vector, Espio and everyone else on the street said together, which caused Charmy to stay quiet...for a whole two seconds.

"It's just that it's going to be sooooo great! There'll be cakes, and chips, and chocolates, and piñatas, and pass the parcel and if we're lucky there'll even be musical chairs and maybe a clown!" Charmy buzzed excitedly. Vector and Espio both fell over.

"Where do you think we're going? A tea-party with the happy bears?" said a completely dumbfounded Vector who couldn't believe that Charmy would even consider that a crocodile of anyone would go to child's birthday party (of less of course, there was money involved). "There's not going to be any piñatas being whacked or parcels being passed or chairs being musical!"

"...What about a clown?" Charmy asked hopefully. Vector slapped his forehead; this was almost as painful as the time he had got between Espio and a packet of 'Ninja nut crunchies'.

"Maybe Charmy" said Espio.

"Really?" Charmy squeaked with excitement.

"Well Vector's going, isn't he?" Espio replied with a smirk.

"Hey that isn't funny!" Vector said defensively while Charmy pretended to be dying from laughter. "There isn't going to be any clowns! This is a party-party, ya know, dancing and stuff"

"Ooohh...dancing! I can do that!" said Charmy as he started to do a mixture of ballet and the robot, which is kind of hard to visualize so just imagine a swan choking on a bag of rusty nails. Vector and Espio both shuddered and a passer-by, who was unfortunate enough to see the whole thing, screamed and ran into a light pole.

"Erm... just save your... 'moves' for the dance floor hey Charmy" Vector said, still completely disturbed by the whole thing.

"Okay Vector!" Charmy beamed, "I'll keep it quiet until the music starts playing, everyone will think I'm just a sweet little bee and then I'll whip out 'the ballet-bott' and surprise everyone!" he then did a triple twist whilst airborne, landing with a clunk and the proceeded to bend his arms and legs all in different and awkward angles.

Espio was too shocked to reply and therefore he just looked at Charmy like he was a carrot that a preschooler had pulled out of their nose. In other words, he was just grateful that he had to ability to disappear during the most embarrassing of moments.

"Oh, you'll _surprise _everyone all right, just look what you did to poor Espio" Vector said while pointing to Espio, who was frozen with the 'carrot pulled out of the nose' look on his face... and then he fainted, "Just make sure you dance far away from us."

"Of course I will!" Charmy huffed, "I wouldn't want _you_ guys crampin' my style." He said referring to Espio who was still out cold from the horror he had just witnessed.

"Yeah...whatever Charmy," Vector snorted, "Hey guys I think this is the place."

"Party!" Shouted Charmy for no reason, it seemed, other than to be annoying.

"Don't you dare start that up again Charmy or I'll tell Espio that you were the one who scoffed the last of his 'ninja nut crunchies'!" threatened Vector.

"WHAT!" Espio shouted and immediately woke up.

"Wow this party seems pretty professional, I mean, they've even got a butler outside the door!" said Charmy, "He sure looks funny, especially with that big nose and all those wrinkles on his face." The butler glared at Charmy and wrinkled up his big, wrinkly nose in disgust.

"Ugh...can I help you...er...animals?" the butler asked, clearly not wanting to help them at all.

"You sure can, we're here for the party! So we'll let you kiss our feet and polish our shoes and whatever else you're here for, and then we'll be heading inside to bust a few moves!" replied Vector without any hesitation, "If you serve us well, we can't give you a tip but if you're lucky we'll save you a few corn chips from the party of the century that you are obviously missing out on!"

"I don't think so" the butler said in a rather snobby tone.

"Well then, your loss! Come on boys it's time to party!" said Vector, shaking his tail around while demonstrating a pretty lame example of the chicken dance.

"No, I mean, I don't think _you_ will be coming inside" replied the butler.

"What do you mean we can't come inside!" said a slightly outraged Vector, "We got an invitation and we're going to this party!"

"The fact that you received an invitation is highly unlikely" the butler carried on in his snobby manner, not fazed at all by Vectors sudden outburst. "For one, you three do not seem the type Mable would invite to her party, she prefers Human beings as appose to...whatever you are. Secondly you are not really..." the butler looked them up and down, "how should I say...dressed for the occasion, and lastly...you smell." And with this the butler started fanning his nose with one of his spotless white gloves.

The Chaotix team took a moment to sniff themselves. "Hey, we don't smell!" said Vector rather rudely "and for your information we did get an invitation!" He said shaking the chocolate covered, soggy, wrinkled letter in the butlers face.

The butler held the brown-stained, wet invitation in between his fingertips, by the cleanest corner of it he could find. He examined it whilst holding it as far away from his face as possible, thinking it looked more like used toilet paper than anything else. "This was addressed to Ethel"

"Yeah...that's my name" said Vector rather unconvincingly.

"Ethel?" the butler raised one eyebrow

"Yeah..."

"Ethel"

"YEAH!"

"Your name is Ethel Green?" the butler scoffed, clearly not buying it.

"That's my name! Ethel Green! Do you need to turn up your hearing aid or something!" shouted Vector

"No... it's just that I think that I would recognise my own wife." The butler replied sounding kind of bored.

"..."

"You were clearly not invited. So take your filth," the butler said dropping the invite in disgust, "And do not come back or I will legally be allowed to use force to drive you from the premises."

Vector turned red with rage and steam started pouring out of his ears. "Oh no, here we go again" said Espio.

"Well I didn't endure two hours of party-crazed bees, party-pooper ninja chameleons, maps with no sense of direction, gawking bystanders, crying babies and toe-crushing, pram-racing mums to get turned down from the party at the front door! I'm using force to get inside whether I'm legally allowed to or not!" shouted Vector "So step aside 'luggage hauler' 'cause we're bustin' in!"

Two minutes later the three landed with a thump in some bushes one hundred meters away from the party entrance, each one covered in bruises and band-aids.

"Wow, that butler sure is stronger than he looks" said Charmy

"I KNOW THAT!" said Vector grumpily, still embarrassed by the fact he was defeated by an old man in a tuxedo.

"Maybe all that luggage hauling has really strengthened his biceps" said Espio rubbing a bruise on his head. "I knew this was a bad idea, we weren't even invited so let's just go and... I don't know, throw our own party at the detective agency or something?" Espio shuddered, but currently he could not see a better alternative.

"Yeah!" Charmy buzzed, "I've got two hundred and thirty six CD's of the happy bears stored away in my closet. We could have a whole night party marathon with lots of dancing and singing and holding hands and doing the Hoki-Poki!"

"No way! We are getting into this party!" shouted Vector "That snooty butler thinks he's better than us, well he's got another thing coming!"

"Oh great, here we go again with another one of Vector's crazy scheme's" said Espio

"You know it!" Vector replied, "Because if there's one thing I hate more than spending my morning gluing a door back together splinter by splinter, it's snooty butlers!"

"So, do you have a plan?" Charmy asked, which sounded like a pretty dumb question, but in fact was actually quite logical on account of the number of times Vector had rushed into a dangerous situation without a plan and then saying "well I knew I forgot something!".

"Of course I do!" grunted a slightly offended crocodile, "All I need is half a dozen cans of chilli-beans and I'll be ready for action!"

"That's a great plan Vector," said Espio sarcastically, "the only problem is, we don't have half a dozen cans of chilli beans."

"But there's a curry shop across the road if something spicy is what you're after!" beamed Charmy.

"That'll have to do!" Vector said cunningly, believing he had the ability to actually make this plan work, "Alright! Now let's go boys, it's party time!"

**A/N: Like it? Hate it? Plz review and tell me. Thanks for reading :)**


	3. Plans, plans, genius plans

**A/N: O.k. here's chapter 3! I know it's kind of long when compared to the other ones but I just couldn't bring myself to cut anything out:) **

**Disclaimer: All the characters belong to sega, but you should know that by now**

Plans, Plans, Genius Plans!

Outside of a large, orange-brick building, located toward the end of the butterly, brilliant Butterbelly road, a man with a big nose and wrinkles wearing a tuxedo stood to attention. It was his job to welcome the well-dressed, snobby-snobs into the prestigious party of the marvellous Mable, but most importantly, to keep any under-dressed, uninvited guests out; especially if they were of the scaly, lizard-like or fuzzy, buzzy type. He was the perfect butler for the job with his biceps of steel, and super-snoz, he could sense danger a mile away, he could sense if certain 'guests' meant trouble, and he could sense... the slight aroma of Mr Ming's curry?

"Alright boys, I think that should just about do it!" grunted Vector as he tossed another empty chilli curry bowl, which balanced delicately on top of the already mountainous pile of bowls. "Thanks to Mr Ming and his brilliant 1 for 2 chilli curry sale, I can now put my incredibly genius plan into action!"

"I have a feeling we've been cheesed off" said Charmy.

"Cheesed off?," growled Vector, "That's like saying chocolate is a more popular ice-cream flavour than vanilla! Now hurry up and put this on Espio."

"I told you once and I'll tell you another million times, I. Am. Not. Wearing. It." Espio replied firmly whilst meditating.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Vector reasoned.

"I'm not, I'm being perfectly logical," Espio calmly spoke, "It's not just the fact that I wouldn't be caught dead in public wearing a pink frilly apron and a curly blonde wig, it's also clear that this disguise wouldn't even fool someone as simple-minded as Charmy."

"Hey!"

"Course it will fool Charmy! But that butler, well he's a crafty one," schemed Vector, "which is why I planned in advance! All you need is a bit of lipstick, and the confident walk..."

"No WAY!" Shouted Espio, (he doesn't usually lose his temper but these guys were pushing his limits and his dedication to the agency) "Ninjas do _not _wear make-up and strut around town!"

"Come on Espio, don't be a spoil sport!" pleaded Charmy

"NO, I'm NOT doing it!"

"But Espio, Charmy and I both have to wear disguises to!" Vector begged while getting onto his hands and knees.

"Yours are NOT nearly as embarrassing as MINE!"

"Come on Espio..."

"How many times do I have to say it, NO!"

"Please..."

"Not in a million years!"

"Pretty please with ice-cream and a cherry on top!" whined Charmy

"NO! YOU wear it!"

"What if it was vanilla ice-cream?" Asked Vector

"No!"

"How about strawberry?" added Charmy

"I don't care what flavour ice-cream the please has on top of it, the fact is there's nothing you can say or do to make me wear it!"

* * *

Ten minutes later a short, blonde-haired 'woman' with purple skin (which could have been due to the fact that she had a pink apron tied so tightly around her waist that it was cutting off her circulation) turned up at the front door. 'She' had lipstick smeared everywhere on her face but her lips and for some strange reason had her hands tied behind her back, although this could not be noticed if someone was looking at her front on. The strangest thing about this woman though, was her large, scaly-green horse which was pushing her forward with its nose. In fact, one could have sworn it was a crocodile if it had not been wearing a saddle, which in turn leads to something stranger. Riding, or rather lying across the saddle was a motionless bee with sticky tape and paper on its face and a piece of string tied to its wings.

"Good evening... Madame" the butler said while assessing the bizarre scene, "how can I be of assistance?"

"You can't, now leave me alone!" said a now extremely annoyed Espio in a rather gruff tone. "OW!" he reacted to Vector biting his curly-chameleon tail. "I mean," Espio said in a slightly sweeter tone (a kind of bitter-sweet tone if you know what I mean), "I'm here for the party."

"I see... and who are your accomplices?" asked the butler with one eyebrow raised so high it was nearly hovering above his head.

"Erm... this is my... horse" replied Espio, who was quite unsure himself.

"Your horse is green." The butler scoffed, "And it smells"

"Yeah... I've been meaning to get that looked at..." Espio tried to say something calm and convincing, but how could he dressed like this!

"Uh-huh, and I'm not sure if you know this but lipstick is supposed to go on your lips not your whole face" the butler interrogated, honestly, how stupid did they think he was?

"Oh, yeah, well I had a fight with... my horse on the way here," oh great, if this plan wasn't doomed to fail before, it was now, thought Espio, "Well it planned to make me...umm... not take it to the vet...you know...because it was green... and... it ... smelt funny? OW!" Vector bit him on the tail again.

"Your horse... made a plan?" the butler asked, curious.

"Yeah, he's very good at that but most of the time his plans fail, OW!" Espio screeched and made a mental note to personally pound Vector once this party was over.

The butler sighed, "And what on earth is that...thing on top of your horse?"

"Erm... this is my... my... ummm...seat cushion?..." he tried to convince himself while pointing to whatever Charmy was supposed to be.

"Seat cushion? I'm a piñata!" said Charmy, who completely forgot that neither seat cushions nor piñatas were supposed to talk.

"My...umm...talking seat cushion?" said Espio now utterly confused.

"Really..." the butler asked in a snooty voice, "Where ever did you get it? My wife's wanted one of those for ages!" Well anyone, with a talking seat cushion must be trust worthy! Thought the butler.

"Uhhh..." said Espio who was even more confused than before (what, could he really be fooled that easily), "You know... that place... down the street...the one with the windows... and... the...door...OWWWW!" Vector was getting impatient so he chomped down on Espio's tail again. "ARGHHH! If you do that again I'll pound you into next month!" The butler stared at Espio confused. "I mean...erm... are you going to let me into this party or not!" said Espio with even less patience than what Vector had. Well he just wanted to get this stupid thing off!

"W-why yes, of course" stuttered the butler, a little frightened of Espio's sudden outburst (this woman was obviously crazy... but then again she did have a talking seat cushion... "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting Madame; it's just that you can never be too careful when you have a honey bee, chameleon and an alligator trying to sneak into Mable's lin..."

"I'M. A. CROCODILE!" Vector suddenly stood up and screamed. Espio couldn't believe it, after all he'd been through...he'd got so close...

"YOU!" the butler growled, "I should have known"

"You should have but you didn't!" sang Vector sounding all pleased with himself, "Don't worry boys, I've got this covered, time to initiate phase two of my brilliant plan! RAWWWWWWWR!" Espio and Charmy just looked at each other, wondering if the 'Rawr' was supposed to do something or if it was the name of the second phase of the plan. "Erm... the curry must have delayed effects!" said Vector as the butler cracked each of his knuckles. "Erm... RUN FOR IT!"

* * *

Two minutes later the Chaotix yet again landed in the same bushes one hundred metres away from the party entrance covered in the same bandaids and bruises.

"Well, that went well" Charmy said, as when compared to Vector's other plans this one could almost be called a success...almost.

"Oh just be quiet Charmy!" Vector shouted, taking it as an insult, "I was supposed to breathe fire, how was I supposed to know the curry doesn't work as well as chilli beans! But we don't need to worry about that now because I have another genius plan!"

"No! I'm not doing it! I refuse!" said Espio sternly, ripping off the wig and apron and then getting into his meditating position trying to calm down.

"Oh, come on! This one doesn't have any disguises involved!" Vector reasoned

"Are you sure?"

"Well, maybe there's just one but.."

"NO!"

"What?"

"I said no!"

"But we'll make Charmy wear the disguise..."

"HEY!"

"NO! Disguises. Don't. Work."

"Well then Mr Negative, do you have a better plan?" Vector said annoyed (his plans were genius!)

"Actually, I do"

* * *

"Hey mister BUTT-LA" Vector and Charmy called from about ten metres away from the party entrance. It was genius, thought Espio; they couldn't get inside the party because of the butler, so the most obvious thing would be to get rid of him. While Vector and Charmy distracted him (ahhh distractions, one of Charmy's and Vector's only talents) he would turn invisible, sneak up behind the butler and take him out, he wouldn't know what hit him! Now that he thought about it, Espio didn't really need a distraction, but hey, Vector and Charmy had to do something.

"Hey wrinkly man!" Charmy yelled for lack of a better insult. The butler glanced over at him, while looking extremely bored. "Can your super snoz smell this!" and with that Charmy put his hand under his armpit and made a farty noise.

The butler just rolled his eyes "Child"

"Yes! That's it!" Espio was almost positioned behind the butler now, this was all too easy.

"Call that a distraction Charmy?" Vector said, "That's the worst distraction ever!"

"Oh yeah? I bet you couldn't come up with a better one!" Charmy argued.

"I bet I could come up with a whole better plan!"

"That's just an excuse! I bet you 10 bucks that you couldn't come up with a better distraction than me!"

Vector opened his eyes wide and a toothy grin spread across his scaly green face. "10 bucks? You're on!" and then he pulled out from somewhere a large green frog. "Oh look Charmy, look what I've found!" Vector said rather loudly.

"You don't have to yell, I can see you found a frog, what's the big deal?"

"Oh, you'll find out what the _BIG_ deal is soon enou-"

"Froggy?" Big suddenly appeared just as an invisible Espio was about to whack the butler on the head.

"Oh no, what HAVE they DONE?" Espio thought.

"Froggy!" Big called out in response to seeing his frog hopping along the ground.

"Big? Well that _is_ a good distraction" said Charmy while handing Vector ten bucks.

"Yep, too bad Espio's invisible, I would love to see his face once he's noticed the great distraction we've made"

"AGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Espio was running for his life from a frog who was hopping away from Big.

"Froggy!" Big said while bounding after the startled frog.

"Stop this barbaric behaviour at once!" screamed a truly terrified butler who was currently halfway up a light-pole, clinging to it for dear life.

"Whoopsie!" said big as he accidently tripped over a car, causing it to flip over and explode, creating an enormous crater in the middle of the road. He then banged into a light pole, putting a big, butt-dent into it and then he fell on top of a building, knocking down a wall in the process, disturbing someone who was sitting on the toilet, who threw a toilet roll at him, which missed and instead hit an invisible Espio, knocking him over.

"Owww!" shouted Espio.

"Wow!" exclaimed Charmy, "This really is a really good distraction!"

"Yep, just you wait, Espio will be so pleased he'll forget all about me having to pay for all the doors I smashed through" Vector gleefully replied.

"Froggy!" Big cried triumphantly holding the frog high above his head. Unfortunately, this caused him to overbalance. "Whoaaa!" said Big as he swayed from side to side.

Espio, who was too busy examining the toilet roll that was thrown at him to notice the danger above, suddenly looked up to see Big's backside slowly getting closer and closer. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed, but it was too late. The light quickly faded away and was replaced by a five ton crushing force which oozed over every part of his body and smelt even worse than Charmy's peanut paste and mouldy-cheese sandwich that he pulled off the toilet floor and kept in his sock draw for a month (Charmy never did wash his socks).

"Yep, that sure is really distracting" said Charmy "I'm getting distracted just looking at it"

"I feel sorry for the pavement" said Vector, "I can't imagine what it's going through"

"I reckon you really blew Espio away with your abilities this time Vector!" and as he said that, Charmy heard something which sounded like a blunt trumpet.

"Whoopsie!" said Big

"Don't I always" Vector puffed out his chest proudly, "Hey where _is_ Espio?"

"Well, duh! He's invisible!" Charmy replied, "Unless..."

"What? What is it?"

"... He got so distracted by our distraction that he forgot about the whole mission and is just staring at Big somewhere" Charmy squeaked.

"Hmmm... that could be a problem," Vector concurred, "we better find him. Espio? Espio! Where are you?"

"Oooooh, I think I'm sitting on something squishy!" Big exclaimed and then proceeded to roll his cheeks around in circles, trying to squish them into every conceivable dent and crack on the pavement. "Wheeee! This is fun!" said Big as he started bouncing up and down on his bum. "Owie!" Big immediately jumped up. "I think I sat on something pointy!"

Vector and Charmy went over to investigate and then gasped in horror when they found a paper-thin, bum-indented, wide-eyed Espio squished onto the pavement and gasping for air. He was totally flattened except for the pointy horn on his nose that was sticking up. "The horror...so horrible" Espio took a moment to gasp for air, "Never... never again... *gasp*...never, never, ever, never, never again... *gasp*... so ...horrible" and with that Espio fell unconscious.

"Oi you three!" yelled the butler, slightly deranged and shocked from what can be called the most distracting distraction ever. "If you don't want to be the ones to pay $25 000 in damage fees, I say you better move it real quick!"

"I think Big should leave now" Big said as he started bouncing away. "Whoopsie!" Big tripped over a street bench, dropping his beloved frog. "Oh no, Froggy!" An explosion was heard, along with screams of many innocent by-standers and a few pram-racing mums, as well as about a million car alarms went off.

"$25 000?" Vector almost passed out with shock, "We don't even have enough money to replace the doors back at the detective agency! Way to go Espio, your so called 'genius plan' failed"

"so...horrible...make it go away...the horror...*gasp* oh so far away" Espio moaned while shaking like one of those bobble-head dogs.

"Yeah, whatever. I bet you'll think twice about making a plan now. Best to leave it to the experts, as not all of us are as skilled in plan-making as me!" Vector lectured.

"Yes...you make the next plan...*gasp*...I'll never make a plan...*gasp*... so horrible...the horror... never, never, ever, again!"

Good, now that that's settled, Charmy quick fly us outta here!" Vector instructed while fanning Espio out so he puffed back up to his original 3D size.

"What...both of you?" Charmy asked doubtfully

"Just do it! Or you'll owe me a ton more than ten bucks!"

"Um...O.k." and with that Charmy heaved the two up off into the sky. But there is only so much a small bee can carry for so far, and before long his wings started to give out.

"What's the matter Charmy!" Vector yelled

"I have a maximum weight restriction of...*puff, puff, pant*... 200 kilograms!" and with that they plummeted back down into the bushes one hundred metres away from the party entrance, back where they started...again.

**A/N: Thanks for reading:) Plz Plz Plz review! Even if it's just one word, reviews encourage me to keep writing! Thanks again to the peoples who have reviewed, you all get free entry to the party (that is, if you actually _want_ to go Mwa ha ha ha... ahem... Twizz out!)**


	4. More 'genius' plans

**A/N: Hi everyone thanks a bunch for all the reviews:D they really mean alot to me. So I'll just say it one more time...THANKYOU SO MUCH Amber, CharmyMew and Yami-sama42 - who reviewed my story twice! You guys are awesome and all get a free bowl of Mr Ming's special Air noodles! The reason why I took a little longer to update this time is because I spent my time writing one massivly long chapter, which I decided was two long and so I've broken it up into two.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Espio's crazyness which I think he caught off me 'cause it could possibly be contagious...**

More 'Genius' Plans

"Breaking News! An oversized man in a blue cat costume is currently terrorising the city!" a news bulletin suddenly flashed up on the screen with a very grim male reporter delivering the terrifying news. "His motives are yet to be known, but researchers assure us that they will meet his demands as soon as they can figure out what a 'froggy' is" In the background explosions, screaming people and car alarms could be heard. "While currently his motives are almost inexistent, the damage he has caused is very real indeed! Armed with only his sheer size, he has flipped cars over, demolished entire buildings and littered nearly every pavement with massive bum-shaped dents! We have no choice but to surrender, but is seems that this beast isn't giving us that option! We now cross live to Scarlet Garcia who is on the scene of where the 'blue beast' was first sighted"

"Thanks Jim, yes I am here on 34 Butterbelly road, when at 4pm today it is believed a monstrous cat started its rampage of pure destruction! Joining me here is Mr Green who was innocently standing on the footpath when the beast attacked! What was your first thought upon seeing this disaster unfold before your very eyes!" said Scarlet as she thrust the microphone into the butlers face.

The butler nonchalantly pushed the microphone the desired distance away from himself. "It was unsatisfactory to say the least; I have never seen such a truly revolting and undignified creature in my entire life. Just look what it did to the pavement!" the butler pointed at the big bum-dent embedded in the sidewalk with a disgusted look on his face.

Scarlet snatched back the microphone, "I also have here another eye-witness, Mr Stewart. Now sir, I believe you where sitting on the toilet at the time, when the monster smashed through your bathroom wall. What did you do when you saw this?"

"Hey! That private information is classified!"

"I believe sir, that you threw a toilet roll at the offender!" the nosy reporter inquired

"How unsanitary!" spoke the butler in a regal tone.

"As you can see Jim," Miss Garcia continued, ignoring the previous comments, "these civilians are truly terrified! And the brain behind this no-brains operation is believed to be none-other than the devious Dr Eggman!"

Back at the super-secret base, an egg-shaped scientist sat squished in his evil egg-chair watching the news bulletin on one of his high-tech egg computers. "Why! I've never been so insulted!"

"What's worse," continued Scarlet, "is that this crazy-cat is completely indestructible! Our only hope is that a certain, speedy hedgehog will come to our rescue! Sonic save us from this monstrosity!"

At the park in station square, Sonic was lying in a tree, chowing down on a chilli dog. "Aw, in a minute!" he said annoyed.

"Thanks for that Scarlet, and yes I think we are all praying that soni- GOOD GOD WHAT IS THAT!" Jim suddenly screamed as a frog smashed through the window followed by the very thing that was currently breaking the news.

"Froggy!"

"Take it! JUST TAKE WHAT EVER YOU WANT! Here have my money! My job! Mr Ming's curry shop for all I care! Just DON'T HURT ME!" The camera tipped over as the whole news station shook like there was an earthquake. "NOOOOOOOOOO! My body wasn't designed to support two boulders!" The picture on the screen then flicked off.

* * *

Oblivious to the current city demolition taking place was a certain crocodile, chameleon and honey bee sitting behind a large bush.

"When's party time Vector?" Charmy moaned, it felt like they had been behind this bush for half an hour, oh wait they had.

"As soon as I put the finishing details on my genius plan!" Vector said gruffly, answering this question for the millionth time.

"...is it party time now?"

"No."

"How 'bout now?"

"No!"

"...Now?"

"NO!"

"Come on Vector, how looong does it take to put the finishing touches on your plan?"

"STOP ASKING ME THAT CHARMY! I'LL BE FINISHED WHEN I'M FINSHED!" the croc yelled in frustration. Everyone went silent for a good ten seconds while Vector huffed and puffed and tried to blow the bush down.

"...So when will that be?"

"AGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! To tell you the truth Charmy, I HAVEN'T got a plan! Because every time I think of something, it involves Espio, and as we both know he's going to be out of action for a while!"

Charmy looked over at Espio who was wide-eyed, shaking and holding his knees, rocking from side to side. "the horror...the horror...where did the light go? ...mummy make the darkness go away.." Charmy thought it was best not to comment.

"And unless we can magically get an ice cream stand and a mammoth-sized moustache – I've got nothing!" Vector finished while tearing out his non-existent hair.

The Chaotix team then heard an explosion and screams, similar to the ones made by Espio when he was given the smooch of death by Big's behind. Then, landing with a thud, an ice cream stand squished the bush they were hiding behind into a mammoth- sized moustache shape.

"Well...that was awfully convenient" was all Vector could say.

* * *

The butler was standing perfectly straight, outside the party entrance as always, except this time he was reading a newspaper (well actually he was just kind of staring at it with a blank look on his face) when a young, stripy boy hauling an ice-cream stand with a ginormous green 'bushy' moustache that was so big it was touching the ground, arrived at the door.

"Can I help you sir?" he inquired like he always does

"Mmphh mmm mphh mm mmm-mphhh!" Charmy muffled through his moustache.

"Stop mumbling boy and get that ridiculous thing off your face! Then speak, you may, fluently with correct pronunciation and articulation!" lectured the old, well-dressed man.

Charmy parted the moustache in the middle so that he could actually breathe. "WOULD YOU LIKE AN ICE-CREAM!" he yelled, unaware that his voice was no longer muffled.

The butler flicked a droplet of Charmy's spit off his face and removed a leaf from his hair which had blown off the bushy moustache. "Why are you standing before me?"

"Well duh! I'm selling ice-mphhh" Charmy's moustache fell again in front of his mouth so he pushed half of it over his shoulder, "ICE-CREAM!"

"No thankyou"

"What?"

"Pardon is the correct term, I said no thank you, I do not wish to receive any ice cream so you may leave"

"You'll receive an ice cream in your face soon you snob!" A muffled voice was heard from inside the ice cream kart.

"Pardon!" said an offended butler.

"hehe...pardon's a funny word... erm, I mean, You'll receive an ice cream at a discount soooo...don't sob!" Charmy sang pleased with his own come back (he was way better at this than Espio). "Well anyway you don't need to buy any ice cream 'cause we...I mean _I_ just wanna sell ice creams to the party peeps inside!"

The butler, immediately sensing suspicion said "No"

"What? I mean _pardon_, I mean, aww just let me in! I wanna party! And if you don't let me in my boss...erm...bossy ice cream will get mad and you don't wanna see ice cream mad!" Charmy squealed.

"Firstly, I said you may speak, but only with correct pronunciation and articulation, which you have failed to do so far. Secondly 'wanna' is NOT a word! And lastly I _would like_ to see ice cream mad as I have not heard of such a ludicrous idea in my entire career!" the butler raged while reaching for the lid of one of the ice cream compartments.

"NO! Stop! There's no one in there! Absolutely NO ONE at all!" the fuzzy-buzzy one squeaked and swatted the butler's hand away.

"I wasn't suggesting anything of the sort," the butler smirked, _his_ plan was clearly working, "I just wanted to see what ice cream looks like when it's mad."

"No! Erm, yeah... no you can't look it'll erm... melt!" Charmy desperately searched for a cover-up.

"Oh really? But I was just wanting to help myself to a chocolate ice cream." The butler paused, "and are you sure there's no one in your kart?"

"What? Of course not! Definitely no one! Nope! No ones in here" the bumble bee bumbled on while the kart seemed to shake...in frustration? "No one at all! Why on earth would you ask such a thing? I mean...hehe"

"Oh no reason..." the butler replied casually, "It's just that, when I got close to it...I could have sworn I heard someone saying 'the horror, the horror, oh the horror'"

"Erm...that was nothing!" Charmy blurted out.

"Shut it Espio! He's going to hear you!" an angry voice came from the kart.

"So horrible...the horror! The horror! Aghhh! Get me out of here! It's too dark! Too much like _that _place! I'm starting to feel claustrophobic!" another voice was heard from the kart.

"Erm, that was NOTHING too!" Charmy quickly jumped on top of the ice cream compartments to try and muffle the noise.

"And now it's THE FIVE TON CRUSHING FORCE! OH MY GOSH GET ME OUT OF HERE!" the kart started to violently shake and jump around, with Charmy clinging desperately to it, trying to keep the lid of the 'ice creams' shut.

"Espio! ESPIO! Stop moving around so much, you're going to tip the kart!" the angry voice spoke again.

"This is why I told you not to make the ice cream angry!" Charmy squealed, the kart was violently jumping around now.

"And the stench, THE STENCH! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!"

"I. do. not. SMELL!" the angry voice was _really_ angry now. "That's it Espio! This is NOT a good time to have a mental breakdown! I'm going to have to knock some sense into ya!" The kart bounced around so violently that Charmy could barely hold on.

"AHHHHHH! GET me off this thing! Ohhhhh...I'm starting to feel nauseous" Charmy screamed. Then all of a sudden everything stopped, even Charmy's heart did for a second, as he managed to stop shaking and regain his breathing again. His knuckles where white from gripping the kart and his antenna were standing on end. All the while the butler seemed unamused, completely unphased by the whole event.

"I've changed my mind," said the bored butler, "I would like an ice cream, do you have any choc-mint?"

"W-w-what?" stuttered Charmy, now he knew why six year olds couldn't ride the super-coaster at happy world. "I mean p-p-pardon?"

"I said I would like one choc-mint ice cream" the butler waited eagerly for Charmy to open up his ice cream kart.

"S-s-sorry but we don't have that flavour"

"Oh really? Then I'll have strawberry"

"D-don't have that one either"

"choc-chip then"

"N-none of that"

"butterscotch?"

"Nope"

"caramel?"

"Nuh-uh"

"Coffee?"

"Nopeidy-nope-nope!"

"Then what do you have?" the butler said quite impatient.

"We only sell 'the best flavour'" Charmy said sarcastically, "Vanilla- which has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT A CERTAIN RABBIT THAT A CERTAIN CROCODILE IS MADLY IN LOVE WITH, IS CALLED VANILLA!" Charmy yelled at the top of his lungs obviously wanting 'someone else' to hear it. The ice cream kart then jolted forward of its own accord, knocking Charmy over and proceeding to run over him back and forth, which is kind of a strange thing for an ice-cream kart to do by its self.

"AHHH! OWWW! UCKK! JEEZE I'M SORRY!"

"Let me guess, your 'ice cream' is angry again." The butler rolled his eyes.

"OWWW! Yep! AGHH! JUST BUY AN ICE CREAM! UGHHHHH!"

"Oh no, I'd rather not" replied the old man, "I hate that boring, old flavour"

"WHATTTTTTTT!" Vector suddenly burst out of the kart. "VANILLA IS NOT OLD OR BORING YOU'RE OLD AND BORING! SHE'S THE NICEST, PRETTIEST PERSON I KNOW AND IF YOU'RE GOING TO DISFIGURE HER REPUTATION THEN I'M GOING TO DISFIGURE YOUR FACE!" The outraged alligator...I mean crocodile! (Please don't hurt me Vector) got into his fighting stance.

"Oh, I'd like to see you try" the butler threatened, rolling up his newspaper.

Vector took one look at the rolled-up news paper, and thought that fighting might not be the best solution, and so quickly jumped back into the ice cream kart, which was still currently parked on top of Charmy.

"Get out here!" the butler threatened, holding his newspaper at the ready.

Vector popped his head out of one of the ice cream compartments and then ducked back down just as the butler wacked his head. He then popped his head out another compartment and the same thing happened. He then popped his head out of every compartment at high speed, and the butler tried to whack his head just as fast but missed every time.

"AGGHHHH!" the butler was very annoyed now (he never was good at those whack-a-mole games), "Hold still so I can hit you!"

Of course, this just made Vector pop his head out even quicker (if that was possible) making the butler even more annoyed. Just then an already half-beaten up Espio popped his head out of one of the compartments to see what was going on. WHACK!

"OWWWW!" Espio cried out with pain as the force of the whack shattered the whole ice cream kart, "Huh? Where am I? What happened? The last thing I can remember was...Ugh" he shuddered.

"No time to explain now Espio!" Vector said while grabbing him by the horn on his nose and pulling Charmy out from under the wreckage by his antennae."Run for it!" But it was too late, with one God Almighty whack of the butler's newspaper, the Chaotix team was sent flying to where their bush used to be before it was turned into a moustache, which in fact flew off Charmy's face and landed on top of them. Their 'glorious' landmark of defeat could not bear to part from them.

**A/N: Thanx 4 readin! :D Plz review:) The next chapter will be up as soon as i finish proof reading.**


	5. Can we go home yet?

**A/N: Hi I'm back again! Did you miss me? **

**Vector: No, you only posted the last chapter an hour ago! **

**Hey the characters don't speak to the author! Well anyway, like I said before, this is the second half of my used to be really long chapter, which is why it's up so quick.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, but that doesn't mean they can talk back!**

**Vector: Awwwww...**

Can we go home yet?

"OOOOWWWWWWWW" Charmy moaned while straightening out his crooked antenna, "Vector, I know I wanted party time but now I just wanna... I mean _want to_ go home."

"*GASP*!" Vectors jaw dropped down in shock, "What did you just say Charmy?"

"I said I want to go home"

"Why would you say that?" a flabbergasted crocodile said with disbelief.

"Well, duh, because I keep getting beaten up, and I don't want to end up like Espio did, sucking my thumb and calling for my mum"

"I did WHAT?"

"Because? Want to? Charmy why are you saying these things!" Vector shook him back and forth, "whatever happened to 'cause and wanna!"

"Cause and wanna are not even words," Charmy spoke in an unusual regal voice, "the butler taught me how to speak with correct pronunciation and articulation. Oh and by the way, you forgot to begin your last sentence with a capital letter, which is grammatically incorrect."

"Espio are you hearing this?"

"The butler taught Charmy some manners, so what?" Espio said while meditating, annoyed by all the disruptions.

"So what? SO WHAT! I'll tell you what, this butler is pure evil! Poisoning the minds of dim-witted young children! He must be stopped!" Vector cried out while holding a heroic stance.

"Gee, Vector, I didn't know he was so dangerous or that I was so dim-witted!" Charmy whined

"You bet he is, and you bet you are! I've got a plan to stop him...CHARGE!" yelled the crocodile as he ran off with his head down at full speed toward where the butler was standing.

Espio and Charmy looked at each other, and then thought it was in their best interest to copy what Vector was doing.

"CHARGE!" the yelled together and ran off after him.

* * *

The butler looked up from his paper in time to see three figures about to crash head-on into him at full speed, so calmly he took one step to the side.

"Owwww!"

"OOOMPH!"

"ARGHHHH!" said the three as they collided head first into the brick wall.

The butler sighed and rolled up his newspaper, "How many times must I get rid of this filth!"

"Owwwwwwwww!" Charmy moaned while holding his head, and giddily swaying from side to side. "So when does the 'genius' part of your plan come into play Vector?"

"Oh, no! This was only a 'plan' remember," Espio said slowly, trying to regain his balance, but then falling over, "there was no 'genius' involved"

"Oh, great, so we were doomed from the start!" Charmy mumbled

"O.k. what's the plan now Vector?" a wobbly chameleon said while trying to stand up again.

"Plan? Darn it! I knew I forgot something!" Vector said while snapping his fingers.

Espio and Charmy both fell over, partly from Vectors density and partly from losing half their brain cells.

"You three are like a stain!" the butler grumbled, "No matter how hard I scrub and scrub, you will not go away!" and with that he hit them as hard as he could, back to their moustache-shaped bush.

* * *

"This is getting really old!" the young bee said with annoyance, "I'm sick of this bush and I'm sick of getting hit all the time and most of all I'm sick of our plans failing every time! I QUIT!"

Vector was about to try and convince Charmy, until he noticed Espio's eye starting to twitch. "Well I guess you're right Charmy, if you don't wanna go to the party anymore then I quit to."

"What, really?" Charmy said extremely surprised, Espio on the other hand, seemed to be getting angrier.

"Yep sure, if you and Espio wanna quit this mission, then that's fine by me! Let's go home boys, remembering this was _all_ Charmy's idea" Vector said while stressing the part about _Charmy_ wanting to quit the mission.

"What! NOW you want to quit!" Espio blurted out.

"Yeah...why not?" Charmy asked, oblivious as to how outraged Espio was by the idea.

"Why not? WHY NOT!" Espio grabbed Charmy by the collar (Charmy was used to this by now) "I'll tell you _why not. _Because at the start of this mission _I_ told everyone this was a bad idea! No one listened! No one cared! But now that you've said something, Vectors agrees! Well I don't agree! Because since the start of the mission I've collided head first into a wall! Had to wear pink frilly clothes and lipstick! Make a complete fool out of myself in front of that butler and everyone else on the street! Get my toes crushed and eardrums busted by pram-pushing mums! Spend my whole morning helping Vector glue back together a door splinter by SPLINTER! Fork out my ninja-nut crunchies savings to buy Vector thirty bowls of the most expensive chilli-curry on the street! Get whacked away, I don't know how many times by that butler! By the way I've got bush rash from landing in one SO MANY TIMES!" Espio dropped Charmy and pointed to the rash on his butt. He then took a deep breath to try and calm himself down...It didn't work. "I've had my tail chomped on by Vector! My reputation RUINED by his plans! ..."

Espio finally lost it and started jumping around like a psychotic boy who was refusing to eat his vegetables, while yelling about all the things that had happened to him that day. Charmy glanced over at Vector with an 'I shouldn't have asked' look. Vector didn't notice though; he was too busy smirking (_one_ of his plans had finally worked).

"...AND I've been SQUISHED! ROLLED AROUND! SMUSHED! FLATTENED! EMBEDDED! SMOTHERED! AND COMPLETLEY HORRIFIED IN BETWEEN THAT BIG, DIM-WITTED OAF'S CHEEKS- AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE ONES ON HIS FACE! SO YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT AFTER ALL I'VE BEEN THROUGH, AFTER ALL I'VE SUFFERED, IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING BECAUSE YOU WANT TO GO HOME! WELL I'LL TELL YOU, THAT I'M GETTING INTO THAT PARTY IF IT KILLS ME – SO WHATEVER PEA-BRAINED PLAN VECTOR'S GOT UP HIS SLEEVE I'M DOING IT AND SO ARE YOU!"

Charmy gulped, "O.k. then"

* * *

Vectors next 'pea-brained plan' was currently being put into action, and Espio was dearly regretting his past decision. The plan involved walking right up to the door and just letting themselves in, yep-that's right no disguises, no fighting and according to Vector it was well thought through. The only catch- they were covered from head to toe-fingernail to ear hole, in disgusting, even smellier than Vector, garbage.

"EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" Charmy said for the one-hundredth time while pulling a banana peel of his head.

"Stop that Charmy!" Vector yelled for the millionth time, "You need to be covered in garbage for the plan to work!"

"But it's soo icky!"

"Do it"

Charmy sighed and put the banana peel back on top of his head, "EEEEEWWWWWWWWW!"

"I am a ninja and I am calm, I am a ninja and I am calm..." Espio was trying to prevent himself from totally freaking out again by ripping all the garbage off him and screaming at Vector that this is not what he meant by a pea-brained plan – it was a totally gross plan and if it didn't work, Vector would be so dead for causing him to suffer again. "I am a ninja and I am..." Espio glanced down at his arm, was that a diaper wrapped around it? Why does everything always happen to him? "AHHHHHHHH! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!" he screeched while throwing it in Charmy's face.

"EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!" Charmy squealed and threw it on Vectors head, who didn't seem to mind and kept walking.

"Honestly, you guys are big sissies! It's only a little garbage, and it's sure to scare that butler away, because he said himself, a number of times, that he hates filth!" Vector said rather casually.

"Well it's all right for you," said Espio, checking to see if any more diapers were stuck to him, "You smell like this all the time"

"I do not!"

* * *

The butler blinked for the first time in half an hour. Thank goodness this party would be over soon, obviously no one would be foolish enough to try and break in now, and he could actually have a break and read the paper for the fifth time in peace. Then he smelt something - something disgusting, something horrible, something that smelt like...grimy garbage! And it seemed to be coming closer as the stench intensified. The butler worriedly looked around for the source of the stench and then saw the three goons which had been bothering him all afternoon, covered in the filthy stuff and walking his way.

"Ugh, what on earth are they doing now?" the butler said to himself.

Vector walked right up the butler and poked him with his greasy finger.

"AHHHH! Get your grimy filth away from me you barbaric creatures!"

"See boys, I told ya it would work!" Vector said smugly. Espio and Charmy didn't even care; they were just waiting to have a shower. "That's right you snobby butler! We will cover you in our grimy grime if you don't get out of our way!"

The butler gasped and pressed a button on his watch, then spoke into it. "Mayday! Mayday! Come in all luggage haulers! We have a code smell-E! I repeat we have a code smell-E!"

"W-what's he doing?" Charmy asked slightly confused and scared of the banana peel on his head.

Just then thirty ninja-butlers swung down on ropes and poised for action. Each held a scrubbing brush, a bar of soap and wore rubber gloves and a cloth over their nose.

"Ninjas? Finally this is where I can use my _real_ skills" said Espio excitedly. He then went to run and attack but the garbage weighed him down and so it was more of a slow motion run. A diaper then fell off his shoulder (must have missed that one) which he slipped on and fell into the big butt dent on the pavement. "Well this brings back memories, horrible, horrible memories. O-Oh" Espio looked up to see the ninja butlers running at him. He turned invisible, hoping that they'd miss his, but they saw a large mound of garbage trying to hide in a bum shaped hole and immediately tackled it and started to scrub it at high speed. "Ahhhhh! Owwwww! Not so hard! The soap is making my bush-rash sting!"

Vector and Charmy exchanged looks and then faced the mob of warrior washers. If they got Espio that easily, then what chance did they have?

In a few seconds they were down, beaten, but sparkling clean (which was the only part of being beaten that Espio and Charmy were happy about). Vector was outraged.

"That's it! You've messed with us for the last time!" Vector announced and got ready to fight.

"That's funny," said the butler, "we were just about to tell you the same thing" and with that every ninja-butler pulled out a rolled-up newspaper and whacked it in their hands.

All the Chaotix team could do was gulp as they suffered their most painful defeat. They were sent flying so high; they even overshot the moustache bush.

"This isn't the last of us!" yelled Vector as he sailed through the air, "because I have a plan so despicable, so deadly, I would only use it as a last resort! Boys...we are getting into that party! OMPH!" Vector and his team suddenly crashed into a building.

"I don't know how we will manage to pull it off" said Espio, "as Vector and the rest of us just lost the last few brain cells we had."

**A/N: Will the Chaotix team ever get inside that party? What is Vector's despicable plan? And how will they pull it off without any brain cells? AND what's happened to Big and the rest of the city? Well you'll just have to keep reading and find out (maybe:) Plz review**


	6. All Aboard the Flaming, Green Moustache!

**A/N: Hi again! Thanx again for reviewing my story;D You guys are all so nice:D Anyway, here is chapter six, and I just realized this story is going waaaaaaay longer than I expected, I originally intended it to be a two shot! I think I'll wrap it up in the next chapter, but who knows? The positive reviews have made it that much more enjoyable to write, I'm so glad I joined this site! :) THANX EVERYONE! **

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to sega, yadda, yadda, yadda, except for the butler and his army (they're mine) and the giant moustache bush! (if you can call it a character) is strictlty mine! :D**

All Aboard the Flaming Green Moustache!

"Left! Left! Left, Right, Left!"

The usually peaceful Butterbelly road could easily have been mistaken for a war ground this afternoon. There were craters in the road and on the footpath, light posts had been bent out of shape, and the neighbour's house had a whole wall missing. The sidewalks were littered with bodies of garbage, which lay in pools of red soapy water, and three big head-shaped dents were embedded in the orange brick wall just above a mound of rubble which was hardly recognisable as an ice cream stand.

"Scrub that toilet like it doesn't know its name!" What's more, Sergeant Green (aka 'grand master butler') was marching his troops of ninja-toilet cleaners up and down the footpath while chanting the lines of their ferocious war cry (complete with actions!).

"Baking cupcakes is not lame!" Came the reply as the each ninja switched from pretending to plunger a toilet to miming baking a cake.

"Scrub off!"

"One, two!"

"Scrub off!"

"Three, four!"

"One, two, three, four! Scrub those stains right off the floor!" And with that each butler knelt down on the pavement and pretended to scrub off a stain before standing up and continuing to march up and down the party entrance.

About one hundred metres away from the scrubbing soldiers, a moustache shaped bush seemed to be creeping closer and closer to the army armed with plungers, fly swatters, newspapers and, Duh, Duh, Duh! _Used _toothbrushes!

* * *

"Uhh...Vector, I don't think we should be getting this close to the action," Charmy stuttered, "because, well... based on our past plans... and...erm... I don't think...I JUST DON'T WANNA GET HIT BY A TOOTHBRUSH O.K! FINE! You've finally got me to talk! I'm SCARED OF TOOTHBRUSHES! There's no need to tease me o.k.? Well not my own toothbrush, but other peoples toothbrushes, that's why I never go into the bathroom when you're brushing your teeth and the reason why I blew up the bathroom that time! The toothbrushes were just getting to me that day o.k.? Fine laugh all you want! I hope you're happy about me spilling my biggest ever secret! Some friends you are!"

"Erm...Charmy?" Vector questioned.

"It's just all those bristles! And people put them in their MOUTHS! Well my mouth is pretty clean so my toothbrush is fine, but WHOA HEY! Have you looked at _your_ mouth lately!"

"Charmy..." Vector sighed

"And like, who was the _genius_ who created them to be just the right size to get stuck up your nose! Erm...that has nothing to do with past experiences...o.k.! Fine! It does! One time I got Shadow's toothbrush stuck up my nose and when I pulled it out it had all boogers on it! And he made _me _brush _my _teeth with it! It was _his_ toothbrush! And it was covered in _boogers_ and _I_ brushed _my _teeth with it! And then he was so angry he said..."

"Charmy!"

"If I ever shoved his toothbrush up my nose again he would shove it right up my.."

"CHARMY!" Vector and Espio yelled at the same time, tired of his non-stop babbling.

"WHAT!"

"No one said you were scared of toothbrushes! Now quit bumbling and stay focused!" Vector said rather annoyed.

"Oh..."

"Wait a second.." Espio suddenly joined the conversation, "CHARMY blew up the bathroom! He told us it was Big!"

"Now can we PLEASE get on with the plan! We have one last chance to get it right or we'll be kissing operation party time goodbye!" the crocodile growled

"And Charmy...Why on Earth did you stick Shadow's toothbrush up your nose! Don't you know he's got nearly every single lethal weapon on the planet! I don't even think he knows you! How did you even know where he lives? Is THAT why we keep getting threatening letters in the mail? and... are you even listening to me?" Espio asked

"But I hate goodbyes!" Charmy whined, "Almost as much as I hate booger-coated toothbrushes! I can't do it Vector! I'm sorry!" Then Charmy started bawling his eyes out while murmuring something about being scared of tuxedo wearing ninjas as well.

"Hey! You said I looked good in a tuxedo! Charmy! Charmy? Vector? I can say anything I want... I've always been envious of Eggman's moustache... Why is no one listening to me!" Espio started jumping up and down, trying to draw attention to himself.

Vector then knelt down to Charmy's level and put a hand on his shoulder, "Listen to me Charmy, sometimes times get tough but that's when the tough get timely. The tough people know that they gots to stand up for what's they know is right and just."

"I am secretly a gorilla in disguise! I ate Charmy's mouldy peanut butter sandwich! Big's my best friend! I ate Cheese! Shadow told me he likes to be called fluffy bumpkin! Sticking marshmellows in your ears is fun!..." Espio rambled on.

" 'Cause they are just right and no one else is! So get your butt movin' you big wimp so we can whip some butler butt and get into that party! NO buts about it!" Vector then got up and started to move the moustache bush forward again.

"O.k." Charmy sniffled, and then turned to Espio, "He's so inspirational." He said, wiping a tear from his eye.

"I ENJOY PICKING MY NOSE!" Espio yelled.

"Erm...that's great Espio..." said Vector, unsure of what to make of his statement.

"What? Erm... no! I-I didn't say... NO ONE WAS LISTENING TO ME!" Espio stuttered.

"Well that's no reason to pick your nose Espio! Now let's please refocus!" Vector said, shrugging it off as the first, of possibly many of Espio's random moments.

"No! I didn't! I wasn't! I..erm.."

"Don't worry Espio," Charmy whispered, "I enjoy picking my nose to."

Espio gave Charmy a disgusted look and moved slightly away from him. He then decided that a change of subject was necessary, "So then what's the plan?...You...have got a plan...right?"

"Of course I've got a plan!" Vector sounded quite insulted, "It's plan 'Last Resort'! The one we use when we've used every other plan!"

"You don't mean?..." Espio started

"Yes, yes I do." And with that Vector burst out of the moustache bush into the air.

* * *

The ninja butlers looked up and saw a flying, green ball of scales coming toward them. "Brace for impact! Toothbrushes at the ready! Keep your deodorant grenades on your utility belts! Aim the plungers! Roll the newspapers! And get ready to swat these dirty fiends away! Leave nothing in their place but a minty fresh smell and a puddle of soapy water!" The Grand Master Butler yelled out orders (how he could say all this while Vector was hurtling through the air is beyond me).

The soldiers looked uneasy as Vector torpedoed towards them. They shakily lifted their toothbrushes in front of their faces, bracing for impact. The croc came closer, and closer, until he was just inches from bowling them over and then...he dropped to the ground so suddenly, the ninjas were not sure at first where he had gone, until they looked down at their feet.

Vector took a deep breath, "...PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! Let us into the party!" he whined while kissing their feet. "I'm sorry we're kinda responsible for destroying the whole street and annoying you for the past three hours, but we won't do it anymore! PLEEEEAAAASE let us in, I'm begging you! We'll do anything! Anything! ANYTHING!" Vector shook Sergeant Green around while yelling in his face.

Sergeant Green didn't like someone who smelt like garbage shaking him around, so he quickly grabbed an air freshener and sprayed it on himself and in Vector's eyes.

"OWWW!" Vector stumbled back, "Ahh! My eyes! I can't see!"

"They're starting to get hostile! But I'll show them a few of my tricks!" said Espio, getting into a really cool ninja stance.

"No!" said Vector rubbing his eyes, "If ya do that they'll never let you in! Especially if you show them how you pick your nose! Just ask nicely!"

"But!"

"No buts!"

"This is so humiliating!" Espio groaned.

"Is it as humiliating as dressing as a girl in public, or getting sat on by a cat, or covering yourself in garbage or getting knocked over by a toilet roll, or.." Charmy sang.

"O.k.! Fine! P-please let us into...the party." Espio said rather resistant.

"Hmmm..." the butler stopped to think, "You're a ninja hey? I can see you obviously have more brains than those other two dim-wits...so I could let you in if you...JOIN US!" The last part all the ninja-butlers said together, which Espio thought was kinda creepy. He looked at the team of ninja butlers, all well dressed, clean and standing in nice, straight lines, he bet none of them picked their nose. Then he looked at his team, but he had to look for a while because at first he couldn't find them. Vector was stumbling around, blinded by air freshener and complaining about the smell. He then bumped into a fireworks stand that was randomly standing there, almost knocking it over. Charmy on the other hand, had snuck behind the moustache bush, hiding from the toothbrushes.

"Well..." Espio started, "I do like things kept orderly, and I don't think you guys would make me wear a dress but... I would never wear a tuxedo."

"Very well...you know we'll have to beat you up now." the butler said most politely.

"Aw, come on! We've been at this all afternoon! The party's almost over so can you just let us in? ...please?" Espio struggled to keep his composure.

"hmmm...well I don't think this kind of party is really your scene, actually I've been wondering all afternoon why you wanted so badly to get in." The tuxedo-ninja questioned.

"What? What do you mean?" Espio started

"Yeah! Aren't we cool enough!" Vector yelled from a distance where he'd wandered off to, still trying to get the 'freshness' out of his eyes. He then bumped into the fireworks stand again and then fell on top of one of the ninja butlers, who freaked out at having a grimy-crocodile on top of him and let off all his deodorant grenades. This caused the other ninja-butlers to freak out and so they let off their grenades, until the air was thick with anti-perspirant, (well at least Vector didn't smell anymore).

Grand master butler ignored this, "but if you really insist...hmmm..."

Espio held his breath in anticipation, and because deodorant is not that nice to inhale.

"Oh PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! Let us in! All I wanna do is dance!" Charmy interrupted, just as the butler was going to answer.

"No Charmy! DON'T!" Espio pleaded, but it was too late. With a twist of his wing and a bounce on his bum Charmy started to dance, if you could call it dancing. **(Warning: if undescribibly bad dancing scare you then, you should just skip the next few paragraphs**). At first it wasn't too bad, he did back flips and triple-flips, not too well, but it was bearable, but then he started to shake his stinger around in a strange oblong motion just as the Nutbush started to randomly play. He then attempted the worm, which looked more like a pig dying from indigestion, and then he did the robot with his butt while putting his finger in and out of his nose.

"OOOOH YEAH! NUTBUSH CITY LIMITS!" Charmy sung almost as terribly as he was dancing, with his finger stuck up his nose. He tried to do a belly dance by sticking his belly in and out, but because he kinda failed at that he just jiggled his belly around instead. He did a cartwheel, landing on his head, then he ran in circles trying to lick his elbow. Charmy stuck his hands under his armpits and made farty noises while attempting to beat-box, and trying to put his legs behind his head, bending them at awkward angles.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES! MY EYES! CHARMY STOP! STOOOPPPP!" Espio yelled franticly.

"What is it? What's happening? Did they spray you too Espio?" Vector said as he banged into the fireworks stand again.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" the butler screamed out in pain, "you can't beat-box to the nutbush!"

Charmy didn't listen, and instead grabbed Espio's tail and started strumming it like a guitar...with the finger he had shoved up his nose multiple times. "AGHHHH! CHARMY! GET OFF ME!" Espio yelled in pain from his eyes burning. Charmy let out a burp and spun around gracefully before smacking his bum wildly with his hand as fast as he could.

"Charmy? Are you dancing again?" Vector said oblivious to the pain everyone but Charmy was in. He was still blind but he had kinda figured it out. "What did I tell you about saving your moves for the dances floor?"

Charmy stopped just as he was about to stick Espio's shoe up his nose. "Oh, sorry Vector, I guess I got kinda carried away. I promise I won't dance anymore until I get inside the party!" Charmy buzzed.

Espio was trying not to faint again from the horror. The butler was deluded; he had no idea evil like that existed in the world. "You mean...he's going to do THAT when he gets INSIDE!" the butler screeched, "THERE'S NO WAY I'M LETTING YOU IN NOW!"

"W-w-way t-to g-go C-C-CHARMY!" Espio stuttered, completely freaked out by Charmy's 'skills'. There was no way they were getting into that party now, their last plan had been a total flop along with all their other plans. There was nothing else they could do, and now they were probably going to get beaten up again. All their hard work had gone to waste. Espio sighed, they had failed, and he felt like he was going to pass out.

The End

* * *

No! Wait a second! What's this?

Vector's stomach started to grumble, "O-Oh" said a still blind Vector.

Espio had just finished face palming himself for the millionth time as the ninja-butlers were moving in to attack. "What now? Have you done something to make us fail even more miserably then we're going to?" He said while rubbing his temples, preparing for more pain.

"Well...it's just that... I think that chilli curry I ate earlier is startin' ta take effect!" Vector announced.

Espio immediately looked up, the butler didn't do anything, because he thought Vector was being a mindless oaf with a bum for a brain as usual, and Charmy was hiding behind the moustache bush, covering his nose because of all the deodorant in the air, and because he was afraid of the toothbrushes getting stuck up there. The blind crocodile was facing the fireworks stand, and Espio guessed that fire made them work, so he jumped behind the moustache bush with Charmy.

"RAAAAAAAWRRRRR!" Vector breathed fire which immediately connected with the stand and caused the whole outside area to explode. The Chaotix team went hurtling into the air, high above the party building on a flaming, green, moustache.

And all that could be heard over the explosion was Charmy yelling, "BEFORE I DIE ESPIO, I JUST WANNA KNOW WHY YOU ATE MY PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH! I WAS SAVING IT!" And then the Chaotix team came hurtling back down to Earth.

**A/N: O.k. almost done, only one more chapter to go...probably:) by the way, if anyone can guess what kind of party the Chaotix team are attending, then you get a bag of Espio's Ninja nut _air_ crunchies!**

**Espio: WHAT? Who gives _you _permission to give away _my _crunchies!**

**Me: I do, cause it's my story! **

**Espio: Well, they're my crunchies! No one can have them! NO ONE! Their mine! ALL MINE! **

**Me: Don't worry 'bout it, no one will guess anyway**

**Espio: They better not, or I'll...be...really, _really_ mad! **

**Me: Yeah whatever. So please review and have a guess if you wanna see Espio mad.**

**Espio: WHAT!**

**Me: Thanks for reading :)**


	7. Party Crashin!

**A/N: O.k, It's finally here! The last chapter! And I got it done all before I had to go back to school:D! You have no idea how long I've been waiting to write this part! It's by far my favourite chapter, 'cause it's where I got my original idea. In a way I'm going to be kinda sad to finish it, but hey, that's when I can write new stories! By the way... THAAAAANNNXXXXXX SOOO MUCH! For all that read and more importantly, reviewed my story:D I have 301 hits so far, and I know some people's stories have a couple of thousand, but in my opinion over 300 is alot****. I'ld like to say a special thanks to Yami-sama42, who reviewed my story three times! AND to bomrocks23, you really do ROCK! And you encouraged me to keep writing! Without you, without any of you, I'm sure I'll still be stuck on chapter five! REVIEWS MEAN ALOT TO ME! I know it's extremely long but I couldn't divide it into two chapters! So without further a due, let's get started...**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Sega, except the ones that don't ****This story line is mine though! So hands off! :P**

Party Crashin'!

Everyone stopped in station square today. They stopped for about five seconds to watch a large fire-ball get shot up into the sky at break-neck speed and then plummet back down to Earth even faster. It landed with the loudest bang heard that day (and there had been some pretty loud bangs recently heard) in a large house, creating a massive hole in the roof. Everyone just stopped and stared, or if they were in a rush, which most of them where, they walked and stared. The fact is everyone saw it, and it was pretty cool.

A little girl dropped her ice-cream, a woman crashed her pram into a light pole and a plump boy who was about to eat his cheerio, squirted tomato sauce right into his face. One thought crossed everyone's mind, "What was it?" and about two seconds later an answer crossed everyone's mind, "BIG!". With that all the shoppers started running around madly and screaming like they do on Christmas Eve.

Something else was screaming as well. It looked to be a moustache, not attached to a face, quite large in size, green, bushy, oh and did I forget to mention ... IT WAS A FLAMING INFERNO HURTLING DOWN TOWARDS THE EARTH!

"OH MY GOSH I'M GONNA DIE!" was all that could be heard before the BANG! Oh, and there was also something about a peanut butter sandwich.

* * *

"Ohhhhhhhhhh...what happened?" Charmy moaned as he slowly opened his eyes, "Did we survive? Did we die? Oh no we're dead aren't we! Nooooo! I can't die yet! I have so many annoying things I keep forgetting to do, to do! Hey? Are we in heaven? Do they have yoghurt in heaven? Do they have peanut butter in here? Oh no! I don't think I could live without peanut butter! But how could I die in heaven? I think they have that heavenly cream cheese in here but I hate that stuff! Mmmm but I think they also have those nice, chocolate-ball thingy's, I saw it on an ad. Wait do they have ads here? Do they even have T.V. HERE! NOOOOOOOOO! I'll be forced to live forever without TV.! Hey, I wonder if we'll see Cream's chao cheese here. Ya know, 'cause Espio said he ate him. Hey I wonder if..."

"Charmy...SHUT UP!" Vector yelled, it wasn't that nice to wake up to Charmy's non-stop babbling. "I've already got a splitting headache from falling fifty metres in the air and crashing through someone's ceiling, which _I'm_ probably gonna have to pay for! I don't need your useless prattling to add to that!"

"Huh...erm guys?" Espio said looking up

"WHAT?" Vector screamed.

"I...I think we're inside the party!" Espio said as he stared at the hole which they fell through.

"We...we are?" said Vector in disbelief, "We are! We did it! I told you my plans would work! Ha ha! YES! PARTY TIME! We showed that butler! We crashed this party...literally, ahahahah!" Vector laughed at his own joke while Charmy looked around at the party, quite confused. "We didn't need no silly invitation! We showed those snobby snobs! Yes!...erm, you don't think anyone noticed our...um...way of entry did you?" Vector said, quite concerned that they would be kicked out no sooner had they arrived.

"Nah, I don't think so," said Charmy, "they're all too busy browsing through their underwear magazines, trying on night-gowns and sizing themselves up for a pair of knickers."

"All right! Let's go join in the fun!" said Vector with glee, "Wait a second... underwear? Night gowns?...KNICKERS! Where's the dancing! The fun! And most importantly... the food! What kind of a party is this?"

A _clean_ invitation fluttered down near Espio's feet, who picked it up and read it. "You're invited to a...a..." Espio scrunched up his eyes trying to make the words say anything but what they said.

"Well come on! Spit it out!" Vector yelled impatiently.

* * *

"And did you know the other night, Margerie yelled Bingo when she didn't even have a four!" the constant chat of the 'party' guests could be heard in the background.

"What's that? I can't hear you!" the other responded

"I said...now what did I say again? Oh well probably wasn't important. Want a hard candy?" the first asked

"What?" the second again responded

"Actually, it's pardon" Charmy lectured butting in on their conversation, Espio was taking way too long to read a simple invitation, in fact he could comprehend it better when it was covered in chocolate.

"Garden? No, this isn't a garden party..." the second granny said to the first, completely ignoring Charmy.

"What's that?" inquired the first.

"Watt's hat? Yes I thought it looked nice too." The second answered.

"No! I said Pardon! It's not what it's pardon!" Charmy yelled

"Watt's got a garden now?

"A garden cow?"

"Pardon how?"

"Yes, that's it! Pardon! It's _pardon._ Jeeze! I'm trying to impress you with my smarts here!"

"What's that Ethel? You've got the farts from too much beer?"

"You've got an aching heart and diarrheal?"

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Watt?"

"Huh?"

"What's that?"

"What's it?"

"His name is what?"

"His name is Watt."

"What?"

"Watt!"

"Who?"

"Huh?"

"Arghhhh! Just stop!" Charmy yelled and retreated back to Espio who was still stuttering with disbelief. "OH MY GOSH! JUST SAY IT ALREADY!"

* * *

"It's...a...lingerie party..." Espio finally managed to say.

"Lingerie?" Vector and Charmy asked together

"Yes, lingerie...it's a fancy name for women's underwear" Espio spoke, and then started to look around the 'party'. There were quite a few people inside the large building, most being old women. Half of them were reading old-people underwear magazines, some were looking at a few of the displays (ew, who puts extra-baggy saggy underwear on display thought Espio) and the rest were eating cheese (real cheese not the chao) and taking small sips of wine while gossiping to each other what they saw the neighbours doing.

"Lingerie?" Vector was too shocked for words, so he just stood there with his jaw hanging down so low it was almost touching the ground.

"Underwear?" inquired Charmy, "You'd think if someone went to all the trouble to throw an underwear party they'd at least make it a little more...I don't know...fun? ...and easier to understand..." Charmy muttered to himself.

"Well...usually they do, but according to the invitation, this one is a 'treat' for all the retires at Rockswell retirement village, courtesy of Mable's place, ladies briefs and panties shop." Espio paused, trying to let the horror of the whole situation sink in. "It's like a market place to buy old-peoples underwear, while everyone snacks on church-wine and cheese...In other words...it's the worst possible party to have ever existed and we can now officially say we went to it!"

"Lingerie..." Vectors eye started to twitch.

"Well maybe it won't be so bad..." Charmy muttered, "At least they have cheese...maybe we could invite Big, Espio.."

"WHY...ON EARTH...WOULD YOU DO THAT!" Espio said, slightly reliving the horror that took place earlier that afternoon.

"Just to cheer you up, 'cause you did say he was your best friend." Charmy buzzed "You two must have really bonded during that long time you were stuck in between his.."

"I HATE Big! And...were you...erm...actually listening to me before?" Espio asked uneasily, while wondering why no one had even noticed them yet.

"Awww...did you two have a fight?" Charmy asked referring to Espio's new 'friend'.

"LINGERIE!" Vector suddenly yelled out, (which no one seemed to take any notice of. Gosh they must all be deaf or really into their magazines). "You mean to tell me Espio, that we spent the past three hours trying to get into a place full of old ladies trying on knickers, reading about their undergarments, talking about who fluffed, drinking cheap wine and cutting the cheese?In case you haven't noticed Espio, we don't even wear PANTS let alone UNDERWEAR!"

_EVERYONE_ noticed Vector this time "*GASP*!" the room went so quite you could have heard a froggy hop.

"Erm...was it something I said?" Vector blushed as everyone just stared at him with their mouths open, similar to how he stared at them before. "...erm..."

Someone finally had the courage to speak up, "They're not wearing any undies!" they shouted in a most regal tone. The room went silent again, someone fainted in shock as the Chaotix team turned bright red.

"Suddenly I'm feeling all exposed!" Espio flustered and turned invisible.

"Erm..." Vector and Charmy just looked at each other and then at the crowd of horrified guests.

Just then the front door burst open. A very deranged, singed butler stood hunched over like a gremlin that had rabies. His clothes were torn and burnt, ash covered his face and he was breathing heavily. He had his fingers spread out like claws and they, along with his left eye, were twitching.

Vector and Charmy (and assumedly Espio because he was invisible) gulped and looked at each other, "Erm..."

The butler started flaring his nostrils and twitching his whole body, "N-n...n-n-n-no tighty whities...NO ENTRY!" he screamed madly.

All the old ladies took out their handbags and walking sticks and started whacking them in their hands, "Kids these days! Think they can walk around without any pants on! Well I think it's time we taught these hooligans a lesson!" One of the old ladies growled, which was followed by the growls of all the other old ladies and the deranged butler, whose army of ninja butler soon appeared behind him, each one burnt and crazy.

The Chaotix team gulped again, "Vector...I'm scared" whimpered Charmy.

Vector scridged up his eyes, "this is gonna sting a little"

* * *

Meanwhile, Knuckles was walking past butterbelly road, he was going to station square to buy himself a cheerio. Then he stopped as he heard a noise which sounded like someone getting beaten up...real good. He looked over toward the noise and saw a half-destroyed house bouncing around with undies of every saggy shape and size flying out of it onto the street, which seemed to have undergone a _big_ demolition.

An old lady putted past him on a mobility scooter, which suddenly started to beep. "Come in golden oldies! Come in golden oldies! We have a situation at the lingerie party! Code no-knickers! I repeat we have a code NO-KNICKERS!" The old lady gasped and quickly turned her scooter around and put it into hyper-drive, running the red echidna over in the process.

"AGHHHH!" Knuckles yelled with annoyance, "Watch it lady! Jeeze they ought to have speed limits on these footpaths! The amount of old ladies that are taking up scooter-racing these days!" Just then a whole mob of mobility scooters stampeded over him, completely squishing him into the ground. "AGGGGHHHHHH! When I find out who's responsible for this!...Omph!"

Something torpedoed at high speed from the bouncing house, and hit knuckles square on the face. "What the-" he held the object in front of himself to examine it, and was quite puzzled at first as to what he had. It was HUGE whatever it was and it was purple and frilly. Knuckles held it up to his chest just to confirm it was what he thought it was.

Just then Sonic whooshed by, and then whooshed back, stopping abruptly in front of the puzzled echidna, and tried to stop himself laughing his guts out. "N-...hehehe...n-n-nice... hehaha...nice bra Knuckles!" Sonic couldn't contain himself anymore, the sight of the red guardian measuring a bra up against his chest was too much for him to handle, and he burst out laughing and started rolling around on the ground in hysterics.

"W-what?" Knuckles was too shocked and humiliated to say anything, or even to stop holding the bra in its current position, which just made Sonic laugh even more.

"Did I hear my Sonikku laughing over-" Amy stopped, "Kn-Knuckles, hehe..wh-why are you wearing a bra! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Amy soon joined sonic on the ground, laughing her guts out.

"I-I-I...I'm not!..I-...it just flew...it hit me...I'm, j-just holding it!" Knuckles stuttered still frozen with the bra against his chest.

"Hello Mr Knuckles, ooohh, my mum said that I'll have to wear one of _those _when I'm older...but I'm not sure if it'll be as big as yours." Cream, who just _happened_ to be passing by, said sweetly, which caused Sonic to start laughing even louder.

"Maybe if you...hehe...ask nicely _Mr Knuckles_ will let you come bra shopping with him sometime, BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Sonic cackled crazily while attempting to give Amy a high-five but missed because he was laughing too hard.

"..." Knuckles had gone completely stiff with embarrassment, his cheeks now the same colour as his fur, how would he ever live this down.

"O.k faker, are you going to race me or not!" Shadow had chaos controlled over. "...faker...why is your friend wearing a bra?" He said with the same moody expression on his face as always, asking it like it was an everyday question.

Sonic took one look at Shadows face and started to cry with laugher, "No, heHAHAHAHA!...I-It's...heheHA.. t-too much! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"I-I just, It was...I-I" Knuckles stuttered while Shadow looked him up and down with little amusement and officially put Knuckles into his 'uncool books'.

"Sonic! I re-calibrated the sonar, which should re-enforce the shield, I don't think Big will be..." Tails landed the X-tornato in the street and jumped out of it running to Sonic. He soon trailed off however when he saw knuckles. "Erm...Knuckles...is...th-that..hehe..a bra? Y-you know that they were specifically designed for...hehe...girls?"

"Now, now Tails..hehehe" Sonic started but was interrupted by his own outburst of laughter, "HAHAHAHAHA! Ahem..hehe..maybe he j-just likes...hehehe...t-the added support! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"What? NO! It's just...it...I-I" Knuckles was completely lost for words. "Does everyone have to be here!"

"Well, yeah, we all had to come and stop Bigs rampage, which I thought was annoying because it cut into my 'chillidog time' but then..." Sonic paused to snigger, "I saw this...hehehehe...wh-which makes it all...HEHAHA...worth it! HAHAHAHAHA! Th-this heheh i-is PRICELESS! AHAHAHAHA!"

"Why isn't anyone listening to me? I've been trying to take over the world for five minutes now and-" Eggman suddenly flew in on his, erm, egg ship thing. "Is knuckles wearing a bra?" He paused, "OH-ho-ho-ho-ho!"

"Now you've got a-a hehehe mad scientist laughing at you HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Sonic blurted out.

"Listen I-I'm not...I didn't...it wasn't" Knuckles desperately tried to reason while still frozen with humiliation, "Does the whole town need to be looking at me!"

A tour bus zoomed up and screeched to a halt. "And on your left you will see the Knuckles the echidna wearing a bra" a bored tour guide said while everyone wildly flashed their cameras, "Now on with the rest of the 'whole town tour of the town'"

"Oh COME ON!" Knuckles yelled with annoyance as he tried to pull the bra off, but for _some_ reason (*cough*Sonic*cough*) it had clipped itself together at the back, and the echidna was finding it very difficult to unclip on account of the lack of fingers on his gloves.

"Searching for Eggmans robots. Search and destroy" Omega said in a monotone voice while walking down the street, "Scanning...scanning...male life form detected...name: Knuckles the echidna...age: sixteen...occupation: guardian of the master emerald..."

Knuckles stood frozen while everyone but Shadow and Cream were rolling on the pavement laughing and gasping for air. Surely a robot wouldn't laugh at him?

"Wearing...wearing... ... wearing female under garments...does not compute! Does not compute!"Omega violently started to shake around and smoke poured from his head, "Does not compute! Does not compute!" He then blasted off crazily down the street.

Anyone who was trying to hold back a snigger now was laughing like a mad man...even Eggman who was laughing like a well...really mad man.

A black limo then pulled up and a man dressed in a black suit rolled out and took a picture of Knuckles.

"AHAHAHAHAHA! Remind me to get that one Amy!" Sonic squealed

"Hey! What's the big idea!" Knuckles yelled, suddenly unfreezing from his position and throwing his hands down with anger and trying to rip off the bra at the same time, but it was very stretchy so it just rebounded and hit him in the face. He was so frustrated that he took out his shovel claws (from wherever he keeps them) and ripped it in half. He made one mistake though...he was still holding onto it.

"Oh...t-terribly sorry" the secret agent said while trying to keep his cool and not end up like the rest of the sonic gang on the ground, "I work for G.U.N and I need to comprise a series of photos of this street in response to the situation we had here earlier this afternoon, I-I do hope I wasn't interrupting anything"

"What's the hold up!" said someone as they started to get out of the limo.

Oh no, knuckles recognised that voice...not _her _anyone but her!

"Knuckles?" Rouge said with disbelief at the bra he was holding, which caused him to go even redder than he already was. When he found out who was responsible for this he would personally make sure that they would not be able to feel their face, arms, legs or vital organs.

Just then a really loud WHACK! Was heard and three figures came flying towards the group in hysterics, and landed with a thud just in front of the beetroot echidna.

"That...was painful" Charmy moaned, "I had no idea grannies could whack so hard.."

"My ninja skills were no match for their rock-hard denchers, lumpy handbags and titanium walking frames!" Espio mumbled from under Vector.

"Well at least 'cause we got beat up that bad it won't happen again for a few days... right?" Vector said, trying to find any good points out of their really painful situation, which didn't impress Espio or Charmy in the slightest, "And at least they threw us out with this big pile of underwear"

"AHAHAHAHAHA! You guys have bras too? What? Did you four go to a lingerie party or something? AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Sonic cackled

"Four?" Espio looked around and then upon seeing knuckles, tried extremely hard not to act like Sonic.

Charmy on the other hand, did not have that self control and started to snort, hoot and chuckle before doubling over almost wetting himself with laughter.

"What? YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?" Knuckles yelled

"Who wouldn't!" Amy chortled

"Beats blowing up the town any day!" Eggman said with his signature, annoying laugh.

"Leave him alone!" Cream defended, "Knuckles can wear whatever he feels comfortable in!" This however, did not make Knuckles feel any happier. Sonic just started to howl with amusement.

"My, my you really are a knucklehead aren't you?" Rouge cooed with a snigger, "What were you doing, buying yourself a bra honey?"

"What! I did not buy this bra for myself!" Knuckles yelled

"Ooooooo, so you bought it for someone else?" tittered Charmy. Espio was trying to get Charmy to shut up, he knew teasing one of the strongest people on the planet could not end well.

"Yep, you bet he did! We where there when he picked it out!" Vector said while smirking.

"WHAT?" Knuckles yelled in disbelief, he was now officially blaming Vector for his current predicament. This of course made everyone crack up again.

Espio pulled Vector towards him sharply and whispered harshly, "What on Earth do you think you're DOING!"

"Well..." said Vector cunningly while stretching out a piece of underwear, "Knuckles over there has obviously got the hots for a certain ivory bat, and you know how loaded she is! Well I reckon if we can bring 'em together, they'll be so happy they'll load us up with cash, and we'll be able to replace all the doors at the detective agency!"

Espio's jaw dropped with shock, that has probably got to be the dumbest idea Vector had ever thought up, and that's saying something! "Are you CRAZY! I can see many flaws with your plan, firstly how many guys do you know that buy their girlfriends bras? Secondly Knuckles in now officially going to beat us to a pulp unless you apologise, and lastly...he doesn't even LIKE rouge! He hates her! Their rivals, enemy's! Always at each other's throats, does that all mean nothing to you?"

"Ah...but that's just what he wants you to think" smirked Vector.

Espio slapped his forehead, "HE'S. A. GAURDIAN OF THE WORLD'S LARGEST GEM, ROUGE IF A THEIF OBSSESSED WITH JEWLS! They're complete opposites and if you say anything else to make them mad, they'll BOTH beat us to a pulp! Do you understand? Even if it is '_just what he wants us to think'_ I reckon he's got a pretty good reason for that and a pretty good punishment if we think any different! Now PLEASE don't do ANYTHING stupid!"

"Hey! You two! You better not be talking about me in your secret girls party over there!" Knuckles yelled, completely fed up with everyone's laughing.

"No, no Knuckles, we weren't talking about _you,_ we were just talking about that bra you bought for Rouge." Vector said suspiciously, while Espio slapped his now red forehead and braced himself for more pain.

"Ooooo, purple, my favourite colour, and I just love the frills on the sides! You've really outdone yourself this time knucklehead, but are you sure you got a big enough size?" Rouge smirked sarcastically while referring to the monstrous bra.

"You..hehehehe..y-you...heHAHA...you bought Rouge a bra? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Most guys buy the girls they like flowers or something! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Sonic teased while holding his sides, "This just keeps getting better and better!"

"What! I-I didn't...I DIDN'T BUY IT!" Knuckles yelled with frustration.

"Ooooooo, so you stole it?" Rouge sniggered, "Trying to impress the queen of thieves aye? Oh look the tag says Crazy Clarks, five for a dollar special, very impressive." She said taking the bra and pretending to look extremely interested in it, all the while trying not to crack up. Boy these three really knew how to annoy Knuckles, almost as well as she did, she just hoped they knew that they would soon learn a whole new meaning of the word pain.

"I-I-I...didn't...wasn't...um..it..." Knuckles rambled. Tails was moaning about the laughter hurting his mouth but he couldn't stop, Amy was doubling over, Omega would shoot past every now and then exploding, Espio was extremely scared of what Knuckles would do to him, Charmy was snorting, Eggman was hooting, Cream was trying to suppress a smile, the secret agent was chortling, Sonic was in hysterics, Vector was smirking, even Shadow was sniggering and Rouge who couldn't contain herself anymore, was cackling on the ground.

"ARRRGGGGHHHHHHH! THIS BRA WAS THROWN IN MY FACE BY THOSE THREE IDIOTS OVER THERE!" Knuckles could no longer contain his rage. Everyone turned to face the trouble-some trio, and everyone knew that they were in for a world of hurt.

"Hey!" Shadow shouted, something had finally clicked, "that's the freak who shoved my toothbrush up his nose!"

"Hey now!" said Charmy, "Just cool it fluffy bumpkin!"

A vein bulged in Shadows head, "What...did you call me?" he said extremely threatening.

"Fluffy Bumpkin? BWAHAHAHAHA! Now these guys are bugging Shadow..hehehe...they must r-really..heheHAHA want some pain!" Sonic sniggered.

"Shut it faker or you'll soon be in as much pain as this pathetic excuse for an insect is about to be in!" Shadow threatened, which made Sonic shut up at sonic speed. He looked pretty serious, and by the sounds of things Charmy was about to be in an indescribable amount of pain.

"What? Don't you like being called fluffy bumpkin?" Charmy asked innocently, oblivious to Shadows anger, the chaos spear he was about to throw, and Espio giving him the 'don't say anything Charmy!' signal. "I'm sorry to offend you but my pal Espio over here told me that you love to be called that"

Espio was totally freaking out now, how could Charmy be such an idiot?

"Oh, did he really?" said Shadow re-directing his line of fire toward his new target.

Oh great, this is it, this is the end, I'm going to die now, I'm going to DIE now! Thought Espio as he prepared for the worst.

"Hey! You better not say anything rude to Espio!" said Charmy, completely unaware that Shadow was going to do a lot more to him then just say something rude.

"Oh, and why not?" said Shadow extremely angry

"Because he can pick a fight almost as well as he can pick his nose!" Charmy said defensively, unaware that he, not shadow had just killed Espio, he had died of embarrassment.

Shadow scrunched up his nose and looked disgusted (that's another one for his 'uncool books'), and then he and everyone else took one giant step away from the chameleon.

'That's just gross man!" Sonic said

"I don't pick my nose!" Espio tried to convince everyone, but as knuckles knows, attempts are futile when faced with the opinion of the majority of your peers. Espio seriously just wanted Shadow to kill him right now.

"I have better places to be" Sonic said running off at lightning speed, before coming back just as quick, "So are you gonna race me or not _fluffy bumpkin_?" Sonic teased and then ran for his life.

Shadow didn't waste time with words and sped off after the blue hedgehog with a murderous look in his eye.

"Don't you dare hurt my Sonikku!" Amy yelled, and ran after them with her hammer raised.

"Well I'ld love to stick around," said Eggman, "but you know how it is, cities to destroy, worlds to conquer.." he then flew off in his egg ship thing.

"Oh no you don't Eggman!" Tails said jumping into the x-tornado

"Does not compute! Does not compute!" Omega sped past and then exploded.

The secret agent flipped back into his limo and then sped away at top speed. "Erm...was I supposed to get back in there?" Rouge asked

"It figures," said Knuckles, "No one would want to be with you in a confined space."

"What's THAT supposed to mean?" she retaliated

"Nothing, it's just that thieves, no matter how hot they are, do not make good company." Knuckles smirked.

"WHAT! ...Wait a second...did you just call me hot?"

"Erm...I said nothing!" Knuckles shouted and then sped off in the direction of Angle Island.

"You better not be going back to guard my emerald!" Rouge teased.

"Your emerald? I guard it! That makes it mine!" Knuckles yelled

"But I steal it, which makes it mine!"

"You're CRAZY batgirl!"

"And you're so cute when you're angry!"

"ARRRGGGGHHHHHH!"

"Ahhhh true love." said Vector, Espio could have punched him in the face.

"Erm Cream...you can go now" Charmy said to the rabbit who was still standing there staring at them.

"O.k." and with that she skipped away with her chao close behind.

"And say hi to your mum for me!" Vector yelled after her, Espio just rolled his eyes, wanting the day to be over. "See boys, I told ya we wouldn't get beaten up again!" Vector said cheerfully despite the fact that their afternoon had been a complete failure.

"There they are!" An old lady shouted, "and they're STILL not wearing any pants!"

"You were saying" said Charmy

"And look! They've stolen all our underwear!" cried the one named Ethel pointing to the pile of panties the Chaotix had landed on, "And look! That's the purple bra I wanted to buy and they've made it all dirty the little grubs!" All the old ladies gasped and started hurling insults at them.

"Brief thief's!"

"Panty-pinchers!"

"Knicker-nickers!"

"Rudey-tudeys!"

"Bare-bummed hoodlums!"

"Grubby Bubbies!"

"I think we better get out of here" spoke Charmy nervously.

But it was too late. In no time denchers went flying, hearing aids turned into lethal weapons and walking canes were used like cavemen clubs. When the dust cleared and all the grannies left, team Chaotix sat there miserably, with nearly every part of their body bandaged up and multiple bras and undies wrapped around them.

"Well at least we won't get beaten up anymore" said Vector, while his team glared at him.

"Oh I almost forgot to do this" Knuckles came running back to give them a mighty big punch which sent them flying halfway across town.

"Well we've definitely had our fair share of pain for a year at least!" Vector said giving an outraged Espio and Charmy a nervous smile.

Shadow suddenly appeared, "NO ONE calls me names!" he then gave them a chaos spear which shot them all the way to mystic ruins.

"OOOMPH!"

"Well at least we won't..."

"Shut up Vector!" Espio growled

"but!"

"Don't you dare say it Vector!" Charmy threatened

"I was just going to..."

"No!"

"but we're not going to get beaten up anymore!" Vector managed to say

"Ribbit"

"Huh? Did you say something Espio?" Vector asked

"Well I just swore in my head but I didn't think I said it aloud...did I?"

"Froggy where are you!" a dopey voice could be heard.

"You just had to say it didn't you Vector?" Charmy said angrily as Big emerged from the bushes.

"AGGGGHHHHHHH! NOOOOO! BIG STOOOOPPPP!"

The End

**A/N: OMG! I did it! I finished my first story! Thanks again to everyone who's reviewed. Now there's only one thing to tie up... the competition! **

**Espio: HAHA no one guessed! That means the crunchies are ALL mine!**

**Me: Erm...well...not exactly..**

**Espio: What? What do you mean!**

**Me: Well bomrocks23 was awesome enough to actually have a guess...**

**Espio: Yeah they said it was a snobby kids b'day party and they were way off!**

**Me: Yeah but...they were the only one to actually bother to take part and they've been an awesome reviewer so far...so I was thinking...**

**Espio: No! No WAY! Not after everything you've done to me in this story! You made me get knocked out over 3 times! Do you know how many times I've been beaten up? 42! And don't even get me started on how many times I've been COMPLETELEY HUMILIATED! These are MY crunchies! You hear me? MINE!**

**Me: Wow...I think this story has done something to your mental health Espio, I guess it was probably due to all those times you got hit on the head, the last crash must have been one too many. So I guess I'll give you back your – QUICK BOMROCKS! CATCH! (throws crunchies through computer screen which somehow magically come out of bomrocks screen)**

**Espio: WHAT! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!**

**Me: Sorry Espio, I think the **_**crunchies**_** were doing something to your mental health...so just calm down, get into your ninja state, meditate or whatever...**

**Espio: ARRRRGGGGGGGGGG! (Pulls out ninja star) YOU WANNA SEE MY NINJA STATE!**

**Me: Oh no... OOWWWWW! AGHHH! Hope you enjoy your crunchies bomro-OUCH! That's it Espio time you learnt your place! Hi-ya! OW! Well that kinda backfired...thanks again for reading and please review! ****AGGHHHHH! D: ESPIO! D:**


End file.
